Tuesday, September 6, 2016

That's enough, please.

School struggles + minor foot injury + struggling to get enough hours at work to get by + struggling to get enough hours of sleep to get by + missing my favorite human so SO much = a cranky, emotional me.

Forgive me if I'm a little less pleasant today than I generally try to be. I have been receiving a couple of subtle reminders a week lately that what I'm striving to do is "just crazy" and "selfish". I gather that in some eyes, the choice my husband and I made looks like utter selfishness/career-first-spouse-later thinking. I assure you all, the decision was actually made from a place of love and support of one another.

He and I unfortunately do not have perfectly aligned schedules in education. He did not want to pull me away from a program I was thriving in, nor did I want to keep him away from truly progressing with his goals/dreams. While others "love their spouse too much to be separated from them," I love my spouse too much to hold him back from accomplishing great things, and he feels the same way.

We all love differently, and all love is important. Granted, living apart is kind of miserable (and I only say "kind of" because I know others have it so much worse; we do at least get to see each other in person now and again).

This decision is still something I struggle with every day, and I guess I'm just trying to say... Judgement from others doesn't make it any easier. I realize it's not anyone else's job to make my life any easier than I choose to make it myself, but some consideration is always nice. I don't think these judgements are being spoken with malicious intent, but it does still hurt to be judged even by someone with the best of intentions. And I kind of feel like (sorry to pity-party) I'm already hurting enough without anyone needing to add anything to it at all.

Que "Everybody Hurts..."

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