Sometimes feelings are gross. Sometimes I wish I could go all Vampire Diaries-esque and "turn my feelings off," but that would be weird.
(Once upon a time I started watching The Vampire Diaries just to get the gist so I could gain information for a persuasive research paper in English 2010 about how Count Von Count [Sesame Street] affected all of vampire fiction from the 1970s on... And then I proceeded to watch the entire show. I picked a team. I cried, I swooned. I cried some more. And that wasn't the only vampire fiction I immersed myself in at that time. But, long story short I wrote a damn good paper and I got an A).
So, in The Vampire Diaries sometimes the vampy-folk shut off their emotions (usually during a dramatic, emotional fiasco), only to eventually turn them back on (during some dramatic, emotional fiasco). I'm trying to sound all cynical, but lezbehonest, I cried. All the times. Sometimes I spoke aloud to the Netflix, as if it could do anything about what I was watching.
Lest you think I'm actually cynical... Nah. Just awkward about liking things I could get made fun of for liking.
You should know I also read Twilight. AND saw the movies. And I LIKED them all.
Don't hate. I also like things that people aren't super mean about.
But yeah, feelings. Lame. I feel like my feelings are being sucker-punched in the junk. (Also, have you seen Sucker-Punch? I pretended I didn't like that movie, but really, I did).
I'm worried about loved ones. I'm angry with people who seem to be in denial about some very important issues. I'm not, as a rule, an angry person and I dislike feeling this way. I've seriously contemplated getting bits of Lin-Manuel Miranda's sonnet from the Tony Awards tattooed on my person (the first time I've ever seriously considered tattooing my person at all). "Love is love is love is love is love... Cannot be killed or swept aside."
The feelings are bad, and I don't know how to fix them. And complaining about them feels gross. But holding feelings in feels even worse. Bah. Do we just Robin Hood our way through this? "Damn the man, save the Empire" or something like that? How do we fix the feels?