So, mostly I'm keeping this blog in order to be accountable to myself and to keep myself going.
Side-note: that's actually one of the reasons I doubt myself as a writer. Good writers don't have to coddle their readers, it seems. Or their characters. E.G. could anyone really stand Harry at all in Order of the Phoenix? Yeah, it needed to happen for the story to be what it is, and granted, Umbridge is Satan (Voldemort's pesky, too), but seriously. Harry was theeee worst in that book. J.K. Rowling is a stronger woman than I am. She let Harry be a human being who could be downright hate-able. She let him be an irrational, imperfect teenager. She did that. She let that honesty happen.
And this should be the only time I ever let myself compare my writing in any way to that of J.K. Rowling, because if I let myself do it more than that I will never have the courage to write anything again, ever.
Ha, speaking of not being a downer..... I'm not a perfect person. It's fine. I just. Iiiiii... Achk.
Not a downer.
And I know this about myself, which is why I'm trying to keep myself here on the blog from time to time. If I feel like I need to keep up on this thing, and this thing is something/someplace where I will inevitably find something positive to say, I need it. Whether anyone else needs it or not, I do.
Now, the reason for the "My Shot" post below... Not that one would need a reason. It's Hamilton, and it's amazing, and you should listen to it if you haven't (and if you haven't, whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?) so please do.
I've been using "My Shot" as a sort of anthem for myself as I work reeeeally hard at all my endeavors (full-time summer school, a new job, a show, a new home, missing the person that I call home, etc.). I'm not sure how many times I've listened to it counting today alone (probably no more than five times today, but lezzzbehonest, this is only the beginning of this adventure and "My Shot" will still be there for me so we'll see how many times a day it winds up being as time goes on).
The goal can be achieved. There is a glimmer of light at the end of that tunnel and I can do it (I really really hope so, anyway).
I want to do this. I've been wanting to quit all day, but I know that I want to graduate from college. And I want to see people raise their eyebrows at me for being a musical theatre major, and to be able to smile back at them with pure joy.